Snow Snakes Snub Snodgrass

                             SNOW SNAKES SNUB SNODGRASS

"This Snake in the Snodgrass is barking up the wrong Scree."

                  Edward Calloway

 

 The State of Oregon Saved its Spotted owl, Arkansas it's Snail darter & now here in Southern Colorado another Stressed Species has Shown it's Slinky Snout. The Snow Snake, So-long the Scourge of Starting Skiers, Seems to have Slithered onto the Steep of the proposed Snodgrass Ski area & Subdivision, Successfully Stopping Short the Suggested Ski Slope.

   Mr. Dennis B. Hall, Senior president & Secretary of 'Save the Spawning Snow Snake Site' or 'SSSSSS' has Successfully brought Suit against Mr. Edward Calloway & his Sizable Scheme.

 "Shucks." Said Ed, "It's a Sorry Situation when a Small aSSembly of Scrawny Snakes Snafu the Sport of downhill Sliding for So many. Surely there is Some Sort of Switch we could do with Say, Snowmass, Snowbird, or Stowe for the Slithering Serpents. See, those Spots Specialize in a more Serious Sort of Skier that the Snakes Seem to Seldom unSettle."

 Steadfast Staunch Supporters of Calloways Scheme agree. Said Extreme Skier  'Swany' Swanwick, "Shoot Slick, this is So Stupid, Since when has a Silly Shy Snow Snake Slam dunked a Serious Slider. Superb Shredders Stay Steady on their Slats, Snakes or no Snakes. Sounds like Swag Sonny." Said Swany.

 As Strange as it Seems this appears to be So. Snow Snakes only Spring at Snowplowing Skiers, causing Skittering Smashups Slope wide. Snake Scientists appear Stunned when Studying this Spectacle. Why the Startled Snow Serpent Should deScriminate between Serious & Sloppy Skiers is impoSSible to deSipher.

 "Studies of the Scarce Snake Species Is Simply ImpoSSible!" Shrugged one Specialist, "The reason being the Season. The Snakes Synthesize So Superbly with their Surroundings."

 See the Snow Snake is Snow white, So it Simply does not Stand out against it's Stomping grounds."

Snow Snakes are Seldom Seen" Agrees Mr. Hall, "Skittish, Sage, Solitary little Scalawags the Snakes Seem to Show themSelves Solely during Snowstorms. The Slippery Suckers Seem to Socialize in Snow banks, Shedding Scaly Skins,  Sharing Snippets of Snaky lifeStyles. The Snakes alSo Seem to savor Snails as Sustenance, Seldom Sneeze, Snore, Sniff, Snicker or Send off other Sounds. The Small, Smart aleck, Sly, Shifty, Snakes Seem to Share a Sheepish pleasure in Setting Snares for the un-Suspecting Skier. Seemingly for the Sheer Show of the in-Suing Shocking Shipwreck. There Seems to be a Social Structure to Snake life. Shrewd She Snakes Showing Shoulderless Smocks are Seldom Seen Shopping for Shoes as Snow Snakes have no feet. Short young Shrimpish Snakes Sport Shorn Scalps, Seldom Shout, Shove, Shoot their Soul mates, Shiver, Shriek, or Shred the Shrubs.

 At night the Snakes Shuffle into Shrunken Shanty towns, Slamming Shutters, for some Shut-eye, in their Shoddy Shacks. The Slim Slight Sleuths Slip into Sleep Slowly Slumping in Slush or Sludge becoming Sluggish in Snuggled Slumber till Sunrise or another Snow Storm Slaps them Awake. Senior Snakes Seldom Smooch or Smile & have been Seen Sneaking about Snatching Snails and Snagging Snacks from their Siblings. Snarling & Snapping, they Snip at Snotty young Snakes. A Snide Snobbish So & So, a Senior Snow Snake is nothing to Sniff at.

 Some Say the Sole Way to Successfully Spot a Society of Snakes is to Shade ones eyes from Solar rays. Shut out the Sunlight with a Sizable Sombrero & Squint. Silently one must tune in one's Sonar for the Slightest Sound or 'Snake Sonata'. A Soothing Somber Song Sung in Soprano it Sometimes Soothes with its Sorrowful Sorcery. Once this Soulful Sound Has been found, Stare at a Spot & Spit. A Speck Should Show itself. Snake-eyes. Specify a Space & Suddenly a Specimen of the Snow Snake will appear. Speculate on the Specter as this is a Special Spellbinding time. Your Speechless, your Sphincter Spins, you wish you had Some Spinach.

 Your Spirit Soars, your personality Splits & Spontaneous combusts into Sponge Cake. For you, Sport, have Spotted the Species Snow Snake. The most Subtle Serpent on this Sphere.

 You Squint, Squawk Squeal & Squat , but the Snake Has Stampeded, never to be Seen again." Sighed a Sober Mr. Hall.

.  

 "Seems to me if you cant' see them, Confessed a confused Calloway. "How do you know their there."

 "Their there." Bawled Hall. "Stuffed like Sardines, Saturated in Serpents. This Site is Suite Snow Snake, State Snake. Snake Lake. I Strongly Suggest we Set ASide this Swath of Scenery & Support  the Scant Supply of Surviving Snakes."  

 

Save the Spawning Snow Snake? Or Simply Stop the Spread of Suburban Sprawl?

 

 You deSide.