It's a Small World

                                              IT’S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL

 

Ninety percent of politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.

                                                                                           Henry Kissinger

 

Now let me get this straight.

  Linda Tripp, a forty eight year old, overweight, divorced, civil servant with a frustrated power trip problem who was fired from the Clinton Administration for being a rumor mongering, loose cannon with a chip on her shoulder, or to most workmates, ”a complete wacko”; illegally tape records one Monica Lewinsky, overweight, spoiled, social climbing intern in the Clifton Administration nicknamed by the staff Elvira, & the Stalker, for her infatuation with the president. The Stalker claims on Tripps tape that she & the president have carried on a sexual relationship for 18 months & has a gift of a book from him to prove it.

Never mind that all 300 other interns had received the same book.

Never mind that Miss Lewinsky claims to have had sex with top Pentagon officials, a number of Hollywood stars, & the Menendez Brothers, none of whom ever remember meeting her.

 Never mind that on one tape Monica states “I have lied my entire life.”

 Never mind that Elviras own mother wrote a gossip column for the Hollywood Reporter, reporting on several occasions of her sexual escapades with the rich a famous, including  tenor Placido Domingo who denies ever knowing her other than a fan.

 And never mind that Linda Tripp has done this exact same thing before, after viewing a ‘disheveled’ Kathleen Willey wandering the halls of the White House went to Newsweek with tales of another one of Clintons exploits.

 Never mind that this whole entire loose fitting affair overshadowed a historic meeting with Nytenyaho, near war with Iraq, & the Pope in Cuba last week.

 What really gets my goat is because of this Monica Lewinsky & big her mouth, me...Joe Nobody, Crested Butte Colorado, will now pay one point more on his home mortgage rate. That’s right folks. Just rumor of Bill Clinton having ‘a type of sex’ in his office last year cost me, or any body that happened to be refinancing their home last week, an extra 150 bucks a month.

 Now I don’t get me wrong, it could have been more than the just these women’s fertile imagination running amok. After all Mr. Clinton is reputed to of said that all this is of course is total bunk & if in fact it had of happened with all these women, P.Jones, & G. Flowers adding to an impressive list, it wouldn’t  have mattered much having just been a ‘type of sex’, not real sex.

 This is the same guy that claimed he hadn’t really smoked pot because he hadn’t inhaled.

 Bill Clinton is either:

 A. Missing a lot of life.

 B. Lying.

 But either way, Clinton is in deep do-do, & the entire economic stability of the world is at stake...thank you very  much Monica.

  Bill needs something to take the interest of the world off his boinking habits.

 Bill needs a war.

 

 Enter 15 year old Abdul Mohamed Nobody, Baghdad Iraq. He has just seen his first un-robed woman on the pages of a smuggled Playboy. He is star of his school soccer team. His mustache is becoming visible. Life is good.

 Suddenly he is ‘volunteered’ into Saddam Hussein’s Army, along with a million & a half other ‘volunteers’.

 He is handed a 20 year old grenade, a water bottle & told to go fight the oncoming wave of American Imperial War planes.

 Abdul will die. He will die because his leader, Saddam Hussein, a guy he’s never met & a certified nut case, refused to give Bill Clinton, President of the United States & a real chick magnet, a look-see into Saddams half a dozen homes.

 Abdul will die because Bill Clinton who is on the hot seat, will claim that the mad dog Saddam is sitting on a closet full of anthrax, a potential biological weapon.

 Now a closet full of anthrax is hardly a worldly threat, and a quick ‘type of sex’ in the oval office is not earth shattering & neither are worth my mortgage going up or Abduls life going down.

But that’s the way it is neighbor.

 Oprah Winfrey says she’s eaten her last hamburger, cattle prices plummet, rancher Paul Engler who’s never even watched Oprah Winfrey, loses 6.7 million alone.

 The Baht in Bancock drops, the Hong Kong Stock market dives dragging Wall Street with it.

 Disney releases 101 Dalmatians, every one in America rushes to buy a spotted dog.

 Plankton die from an oil spill. Whales die from no plankton.

 Bill Clinton gets lucky sans Hillary, my Mortgage goes up & Abdul dies.

 Go figure.

 No matter that we live at 10,000 feet in the Center of the Rockies. Never mind that we are 5 hours from the nearest metropolitan area, & that we mind our own business & could care less about Bill Clinton’s social life. We are part of that big global Community, & will either float or all go down together, whether we like it or not.

 

 And you thought this was a small town.

 And you thought you were in charge of your own destiny.