Rotten Luck

I would wish you all the best of luck, but for all I know you’re planning to kill me.

                                                                                           Edward Stern

 

The Monterey Aquarium is now hosting the only Great White shark in captivity. The young eating machine is packing in the crowds, as I can testify having been there recently, and paid a kings ransom to view this crowd. Myself, or no one I talked to, had actually seen the shark but the brochure say’s he’s about 6 feet long and in a tank with two ‘Soupfin’ sharks…whatever they might be.

 Well I just read the other day that the Great White, attacked and killed one of his Soupfin roommates because the Soupfin “spooked” him according to the scientist guys. Then the same guys were fascinated when about a week later the Great White attacked and killed the other Soupfin.  Now my point is this. How did that second Soupfin feel in that tiny tank swimming round in circles with a known killer, trying not to ‘spook’ him?

 Un-lucky …that’s how, I should imagine.

In the wake of the Soupfins painful demise let us now examine this thing called:

‘Bad luck’: noun an unpredictable outcome that is unfortunate. Unnecessary and unforeseen trouble resulting from an unfortunate event.

 Now being the only living creature in a tank with a Great White Shark is an extremely unfortunate event resulting in predictably bad luck…however, could have the second Soupfin, being well aware of his troubled future have done anything about it?

Probably not.

Humans, on the other hand, being the top of the food chain, and much sharper than bottom feeding sea creatures do contend to have a rein on this thing…bad luck.

First of all there are well known tell tale signs of impending bad luck.

 Black cat crossing your path, carrying a broken mirror under a ladder on Friday the thirteen is a known killer, However there are also other things one can do to avoid bad luck.

Never whistle in the night, a snake will come to you.

If a funeral car passes, hide your thumbs.

Always sleep towards the north. Never cut your nails at night, and lie down after eating, or you will become a cow…everyone knows this, and steps should be taken…

However, if you have practiced all of the above obvious customs and still feel vulnerable to bad luck, here are some other tips.

Voodoo: With proper respect for the spirits shown one may avoid certain disasters. If you build a house on a certain property, make sure and build a small ‘spirit’ house for their habitation. They of course enjoy a bit of rum spit about and the odd chickens head ripped off. Blown cigar smoke is also big with spirits.

 Karma: What goes around, comes around is very big in promoting bad luck. For instance if you are kind and generous to others you are perceived as open and accepting, more likely to receive assistance from others. If you’re anti-social, aka  ‘The Jerk’, your less likely to be offered opportunities or assistance. The generous, cheerful person is then ‘lucky.’

 The ‘Jerk’…un-lucky.

The Rational viewpoint: Winning the lottery is a probabilistic event. There was bound to be a winner sooner or later. Getting hit by a meteorite…it had to land somewhere!

Numerology: Lucky phone number, license plates, household address can’t hurt.

Effect: If you believe in good luck you will experience a net gain in fortunes. This is considered self-reinforcing. Vice –versa for believers in bad luck.

 Risky Lifestyle: Example…Drunk drivers seem to be the one’s that get DUI’s.

 Viewpoint: People that believe themselves to have ‘good luck’ are more able to take advantage of fortunate chance events in their lives, and to compensate for unfortunate events.

Positive thinking alters their responses to these events.

So, you ask, is it possible for me to increase my good luck?’

Well my friend this is your lucky day for I…Steve…have found the secret to good luck and you can too with the simple purchase of ‘HOW TO GET LUCKY’ by Steve.

 Here is a free sampling:

Chapter 13: Everyone knows the secret to the universe is, ‘like attracts like.’. so when your feeling good, you exude ‘good vibrations’ which in turn attracts good vibrations, so feel good, dummy.

Chapter 2: Increase your intuition. Those unpredictable events that happen in life are called ‘Chance’. Pay attention to your senses when these “Chance” events happen and act on them accordingly.

 Chapter 346: Morning Luck Meditation. Before you get out of bed, or wherever you wake up, put your thumb to forefinger, close your eyes and repeat.

 I am a lucky person.

Today will be filled with lucky opportunities.

I experience luck in my life daily

I am learning how to create more luck.

My intuition is increasing and guiding me toward luck

I feel my luck is changing for the better

I enjoy new encounters, which increase my chances of luck

Today is the luckiest day of my life…because I’m going to get out of bed right now and mail $49.95 to “HOW TO GET LUCKY” by Steve, Box 905 Crested Butte Colorado.